Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Testimony Time

Good afternoon. My name is aintnomonomo, and I would like to stand before you today and bear my testimony of the goodness of coffee. 

Coffee is thought to have originated in Ethiopia, and it quickly spread to the Muslim world and beyond. It has been banned several times due to religious and political reasons. One infamous banning is that of the Mormon church who, even though coffee is not specifically named in the so-called Word of Wisdom, has decreed that the phrase "hot drinks" refers to coffee and tea.

This morning as I sat at my desk at work, I was very, very cold. In fact, I was so cold that I was sitting and working with my Harry Potter blankie over my legs in an attempt to stay warm. My morning coffee (which helped me to wake up and be perky) was long gone. My friend Sarahbear and I went to lunch, and the restaurant was even colder than my work area. So I got a cup of coffee.  As I wrapped my chilled hands around the hot mug, I began to warm up. And as I sipped the delectable nectar, my insides began to warm up a little more.  But after lunch we had to go back out into the cool air and to work. Sarahbear kindly drove up to Starbucks, home of some very delicious coffee concoctions. I got a peppermint mocha. When I got back to my desk and found that it is still very cold in my corner of the building, I was very grateful to that cup of coffee. Not only did it pump some caffeine and sugar through my veins, keeping me awake after a carb-laden lunch, it helped keep me warm. In fact, I didn't need my Harry Potter blankie while I had that warm cup of coffee in my hands.

Now the coffee is gone, the empty cup tossed casually into my garbage can. My insides are still warm, but I can feel the chill begin to settle into my bones. It's time to get the silly Harry Potter blankie back out (yes, I'm a complete dork) and keep my legs warm.

Coffee tastes good. It has some health benefits, and more continue to be discovered and explored. It keeps me awake when I'd rather be sleeping (a cold workday morning, for example).  Coffee never lets me down. Well, not unless someone slips me decaf instead of regular, or if someone puts too much sugar or something silly in it.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, you can rely on coffee. Generally it is quite adept at doing its job. It's not going to lie to you. It's not going to threaten young teenaged girls with tall tales about angels with flaming swords. It's not going to tell you that you will go to hell if you drink it, or if you don't drink it. It's not going to separate you from your family members who choose not to drink it.  Only people do that.


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