Last Night

I dreamt I went to Manderley again.

No, wait! That's not what I meant to say.

Last night I read Mormonism: A Life Under False Pretenses by former mormon bishop Lee B. Baker. I kept finding passages I wanted to share with my husband. I didn't bother, of course, after his telling me that it didn't matter what evidence I found, because he believes it.

But some things really jumped out at me, and I wanted to note them down here in case they jump out at anyone else.

Baker makes the point, on page 213 (nook edition), that it doesn't matter whether you know the truth or whether you are ignorant. The truth is what it is. So for the 30 years that I was a member of the mormon church and did not know what I've learned in the last 8 months, it does not change the facts that the things I've recently learned really happened. I'm not saying this well, and it's frustrating. For example, I didn't know that Parley P. Pratt was murdered by a man whose wife he had convinced to marry him without divorcing her first husband. But he was. My ignorance didn't make any difference with anyone except me. Now I know, and I can't go back to that state of ignorance.

This next one appalled me. (p. 289-290, nook edition)

"My first reading of In Sacred Loneliness became a pivotal point of research, as I came to understand that the exact same primary sources Mr. Compton had used in his research were those sources used by the church itself to construct the official lesson manuals we had used in our Sunday classes. As these sources could scarcely be considered anti-Mormon, my spiritual depression became even more overpowering as I contemplated the secret liaisons, private conversations, and intimate acts within what I could only describe as 'wife swapping' among the leadership of the Mormon Church. It should be remembered that the doctrine of polygamy remains within the official Scriptures of the Mormon Church, and this eternal principle is clearly a requirement to progress to the highest kingdom in heaven as recorded in the Mormon Doctrine & Covenants, sections 131 and 132. In a very personal and graphically related experience, a Mormon High Priest once told my wife and me, 'You do not know for sure that you will be required to share Kathy in the next life.'"

So the church condemns infidelity, fornication, adultery, yet it was practiced both secretly and openly in the earlier days of the church and there are those who believe it will be practiced in the future, whether on earth or in the heavens. They just paint it with a slightly different brush to make it seem more acceptable.

Here's another shocker, concerning the founding of the Relief Society.

"The painting depicts approximately sixteen women who, with Emma Smith front row center, seem to be attentively listening to every word of the prophet, with a variety of expressions ranging from deep admiration to sincere reverence. After I had learned the facts about both polygamy and polyandry, I further researched the official church history to find that only twenty women were at that first meeting. That idyllic painting of these devoted women assumes a somewhat disturbing feeling when viewed in the light of the following documented facts of that spring day in 1842. As Joseph Smith presided over the meeting of those twenty good sisters in the church, he was married to exactly half of them."

Wow. Just, wow.

I could go on and on, having bookmarked numerous passages, but I think this is plenty to be going on with. Deception is the hallmark of the mormon church. I prefer truth, no matter how unpleasant.