My husband said to me, after watching 8: The Mormon Proposition, that if the church is behind it all, then it is a sin to be gay/lesbian/bi/transgendered, and God is not kind and loving like he always thought. And God hates him, and Jesus hates him. His life is over. (He's just over 50 and from a very long-lived line.)
I responded that God is kind and loving (I didn't bother to add my now-customary "if there is one"), and what the church did was hateful and wrong. I said it's not a sin to be gay/lesbian/bi/transgendered. I said that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
He won't listen to me. He keeps pouring his heart out, and my heart aches for him. I've found a resource that would really be of benefit, but he's afraid to contact them. He's been badly betrayed by someone whom he had every reason to believe was an advocate, and he's getting harassed by neighbours and others who call the police on him when he has done nothing wrong or illegal.
I've decided to contact that group myself and offer to be a volunteer. I wish I could say more about them here, but I have to respect my husband's privacy. He's a good, good person who is anguishing over the internal conflict. I don't know what else I can do.
I responded that God is kind and loving (I didn't bother to add my now-customary "if there is one"), and what the church did was hateful and wrong. I said it's not a sin to be gay/lesbian/bi/transgendered. I said that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
He won't listen to me. He keeps pouring his heart out, and my heart aches for him. I've found a resource that would really be of benefit, but he's afraid to contact them. He's been badly betrayed by someone whom he had every reason to believe was an advocate, and he's getting harassed by neighbours and others who call the police on him when he has done nothing wrong or illegal.
I've decided to contact that group myself and offer to be a volunteer. I wish I could say more about them here, but I have to respect my husband's privacy. He's a good, good person who is anguishing over the internal conflict. I don't know what else I can do.
Your husband is lucky to have you. On some level he is listening. I hope he contacts the group soon. His life is not over!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Donna. Also, I think there might not be much more you can realistically do than you are already doing. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteFunny how his point of reference is that the church is right, rather than that God is kind and loving. If you start from the first and see the church's actions, then you have to assume that God is a jerk. But if you start from the second and see the church's actions, then you conclude that the church is not led by God.
ReplyDeleteA god who hates him is not worthy of his belief, let alone his worship.
ReplyDeleteThis breaks my heart. It's been broken by stories like these before, from Mormonism and from other autocratic religions and cults. Whenever I think there might be a detectable trend toward tolerance, another extremist counter-trend seems to emerge. Humans worry me so.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to see how different people react in situations like this. To me, the way in which the GLBT community is treated is a sign that the church is a pile of crap, not that God is a jerk. I must admit, though, that since leaving Mormonism, I've become Agnostic and always preface my remarks about God with "if there is one" as you commented. I hope there is a God, and that there is an Afterlife, but I'm not convinced there is... or isn't. I hope your husband is able to work through this phase quickly. It must be agonizing to feel the way he is feeling, and for you to watch him going through this.
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