Conversations

Without going into too much detail, things are really strained between me and my husband. Well, I feel they're strained. He feels just fine about things. On Saturday we had a long talk, and I THOUGHT we were in agreement on our relationship, basically just being roommates for now.  We talked some more on Sunday.  In the meantime, I've been trying to persuade him to go visit his family in another state (there's a wedding this weekend and all the family will be together), and sooner rather than later. So last night he asked me why I'm so eager to get him out of the house, and I was honest. "I need some time to myself."

His reaction told me that we are so not in agreement on our relationship.  So what do I do now? I love the man, heaven help me, but I also can't stand him much of the time. I don't make enough money to get my own apartment until we get the credit cards paid down. He won't move out of our house, and even if he did, I still couldn't make it on my own. I'm old enough that I don't want roommates. I'm young enough that if the opportunity arose to date someone, I'd like to be free to take advantage of that opportunity.  I feel like I'm caught in a net without a knife or pair of scissors with which to cut myself free, and the net's voluminous enough that if I start shredding it with my fingernails or teeth, another fold will drop down and I'll still be trapped.